Follow-up from Lesson 1
What activities did you try to grow yourself?
Did you learn any new vocabulary?
Did you introduce yourself using your pronouns?
Did you ask anyone what pronouns they use?
Did you share the lesson material with anyone?
If you answered yes to any of these, great job! If not, that’s ok. Give it a try when you feel ready.
Welcome to Lesson 2: Safety
In this lesson we will cover why it is important to create safe environments for LGBTQ youth at home, school, online, and at work and what you can do to help create those safe spaces.
Personal Connection
I have tattoos. The predominant culture where I live views tattoos, and those with tattoos, in a negative light. My tattoos are not always visible, and they are in locations on my body where I can cover them if I feel the need, or it is required, such as in a conservative workplace. I am not ashamed of my tattoos, but I have been made to feel that I should be. Many negative comments have been said about my tattoos to my face, behind my back, and even to my children. It is difficult for me to feel like I belong in this culture when so many have a negative view of me. I can say that I feel more comfortable around others who also have tattoos. We have something in common, something to bond over, something to share.
I can always tell the moment when someone who feels negatively about tattoos notices my tattoos. A change visibly happens in them. It’s difficult to describe, but somehow their attitude toward me shifts. They are not as warm, or welcoming as they were before they noticed the tattoos. Some people ask me about them, and it opens up a dialogue where I can share why I have them and what they mean to me. Oftentimes this leads to a greater understanding, and I feel more accepted.
Being curious and asking questions rather than making assumptions is a great way to begin to understand someone or something that seems different. For me, I welcome the questions because my tattoos hold personal meaning and I want to share that with others. I want them to understand, and maybe even appreciate, something that I find beautiful. I don’t expect others to change how they feel and decide they want to get a tattoo but understanding the meaning behind the tattoo and knowing that the tattoo doesn’t change who I am inside is a small way I can create a safer space for others who are like me.
Why is it important to provide a safe environment for LGBTQ youth, and how do we do it?
Providing safe places helps LGBTQ youth feel accepted, loved, and supported. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs our basic needs (including safety) must first be met for us to be able to thrive, learn, and develop our highest self. How have you felt when your basic needs were unmet? For example, refugees coming to our country first need their basic needs met in order to feel a sense of security.
We will focus on a few environments that are within our influence to make safe for LGBTQ youth.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid
Environments We Can Influence
HOME
According to The Trevor Project, only 1 in 3 LGBTQ youth found their home to be LGBTQ-affirming. So home is the perfect place to start creating a safe space for them. When they feel safe at home it can lower their risk of poor mental health, suicidality, and homelessness (Rhoades et al., 2018) If your youth are in a traditional family, adopted, in foster care, or any other family structure here are a list of ways childwelfare.gov suggests to help make a safe home environment:
RESPECT & LOVE
Let everyone in your household and community know that you will not tolerate slurs or jokes based on gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation
If you’re talking about their relationship remember to remain gender neutral
Encourage your family to be respectful and inclusive
SUPPORTING
Proudly display supportive flags, art, and signs in your home
Provide a representative media and share celebrities and role models that can positively influence their lives
Keep lines of communication open by expressing that you care
Support how they express themselves in their style of dress, hair, makeup, etc…
Encourage them to participate in sports and activities despite the gender stereotypes
SCHOOL
LGBTQ youth can face numerous risks at school where the environment is not always supportive. “Absenteeism and dropout rates are higher and grade point averages lower among LGBTQ youth experiencing harassment at school (childwelfare.gov). “Students in schools with an inclusive curriculum were about twice as likely to report that classmates were somewhat or very accepting of LGBTQ people”(childwelfare.gov). Inclusive curriculum helps break down the heteronormative binary categories represented in traditionally written curriculum, (see more about this topic below). Do you know if your school has an inclusive curriculum?
Our government and schools have implemented changes to policies to improve the school environment. Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) are one way this is being accomplished. GSAs are clubs at school that support LGBTQ youth. Here they can discuss challenges, get connected with allies, and help stop transphobia and homophobia GSA Advisor Handbook.
According to Day et al., (2019), GSA support combined with school policy changes in the “Every Student Succeeds Act” have shown positive results. Having a GSA in school enhanced the overall climate, bias bullying was lowered, and youth were felt more socially supported.
So, what can you do? Ask if these programs are running at your schools and encourage youth to attend GSA meetings. If these programs don’t exist, meet with the school board and find a way to start them.
For more information and ideas to strengthen your school’s GSA watch this video:
ONLINE
Technology is a big part of our daily lives. Much of our daily communication takes place online. In fact, 69% of LGBTQ youth are accessing LGBTQ-affirming communities online. This may be due to a lack of physical LGBTQ-affirming spaces available, or it may be due to the sense of anonymity that being online provides. Not all LGBTQ youth have a safe place where they can be themselves and finding a place where they feel accepted for who they are is freeing. Online chat forums, support groups, and crisis centers can be accessed anytime and from any device with internet access. Here are a few to get you started:
Connect with other LGBTQ youth across the world here: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/visit-trevorspace/
Chat with other LGBTQ youth here: https://www.qchatspace.org/
Find a local GSA network here: https://gsanetwork.org/national/
Get 24/7 crisis support here: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
WORK
Equal employment opportunity laws are federal laws designed to protect against discrimination at work. Equal opportunity employer statements about hiring practices are often included on job applications to let applicants know they will be protected against discrimination and harassment based on “race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy, gender identity, and sexual orientation), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information,” (EEOC.gov). Not all employees and businesses are protected under these laws, so it is important to be knowledgeable about the companies we intend to work for, or if we are an employer.
You don’t have to be an employer to create a safe working environment for LGBTQ youth. Check out this short video to get advice from employees on how you can create an inclusive work environment.
Heteronormativity. What is it? How does it harm LGBTQ youth?
Have you ever been to a show where the announcer welcomes the “ladies and gentlemen?” How about in a classroom when the teacher attempts to get the attention of the children by calling out “boys and girls?” Or maybe you were at the store and the clerk said, “have a nice day ma’am” or “have a nice day sir.” Did you even think twice about it, or find it odd? Most of us would likely answer no to those questions. Those phrases are examples of heteronormativity. Heteronormativity is the assumption that everyone is straight and they fit into a binary category; they belong to one of two genders either male or female. The problem with heteronormativity is that not everyone fits neatly into one of those categories and making that assumption can cause LGBTQ youth to feel like if they don’t fit into one category then they don’t fit at all.
Very Well Mind shares several reasons heteronormativity is harmful:
It promotes homophobia by representing straight relationships as normal and anything else is not normal and not OK.
It damages mental health by not feeling represented within the culture.
It leads to bullying when people are expected to look, think, and act a specific way. Anything outside of that expectation is abnormal.
It rewards discrimination by discouraging people to accept those who do not fit society's expectations of what straight looks like.
So, how can we reduce the harm? One easy way is to think about our language choice. Instead of using binary terms like “boys and girls,” try something more gender neutral such as “children” or “students.” It has the same effect but includes everyone.
Another way to reduce harm is to respect pronouns. (For a refresher on pronouns check out Lesson 1).
Sadly, more than half of LGBTQ youth have been discriminated against because of their gender identity and sexual orientation. We are all deserving of respect, so stand up and speak out against bullying and discrimination. Read more about this topic in Lesson 3.
Acceptance and Love
According to the Trevor Project, “LGBTQ youth who feel accepted by at least one affirming adult are 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt in the past year.” Acceptance, inclusion, and belonging are a part of our basic needs to be met in order to feel loved, (refer to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs above).
In The Family Acceptance Project (FAP) done by Ryan (2019), they found that LGBTQ youth’s risk factors dropped, connection increased, and behavioral health improved when their family increased acceptance and support and decreased rejection. So, what does that mean for your family?
Accepting youth doesn’t mean that you agree with all their choices. It means that you always offer them unconditional love without judgment. When I was younger an influential adult asked me why I went to my friend’s house every day. They asked in a mocking tone “Do you go over there so much because you’re a lesbian or something?” When they judged my sexuality I was taken back by the tone they used and felt that they thought being a lesbian was something shameful. Hurtful comments can cause lifelong damage. Our words might be remembered by someone for the rest of their lives. Asking questions that might be hurtful should be given some thought before asking and should always come from a place of love. You might find the question does not need to be asked. The way this question was asked of me was not done in love and it has had an impact on me since that time. If someone wants to share something with you about themselves, allow them to do it in their own time.
Unconditional love includes not just what you say but what you do. Do everything with love as you offer unbiased support. Acceptance is respect, belonging, and diversity. Respect their choices, help them find belonging with a group, and celebrate their diversity. When we create a safe, secure, inclusive environment for LGBTQ youth we offer them strength and resilience.
Grow Yourself
Choose one, or more, of the following challenges to help you put into practice what you learned from reading this lesson material.
Practice using gender-inclusive language to greet individuals or groups.
Check out a few online support sites for LGBTQ youth so you will have a resource at the ready when someone needs it.
Find out if your local schools have a GSA and when they meet.
Share this lesson with a friend that you think would benefit from learning the information presented here.
Be sure to check out Lesson 3 where we will discuss health risks LGBTQ youth face.
“Disclaimer: The authors of this online curriculum are not therapists, and are not authorized to give personalized advice to any of the readers. The content of this lesson plan is the creation of the authors alone and does not represent any other entity or organization.”
References
Buehler, A., Littlefield, S., Marsocci, K., Michael, T., Oshinsky, K., Solis, D. & Wadden, L. (2011). GSA Advisor Handbook from the National Association of GSA Networks. Gsanetwork.org. https://gsanetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/GSA_Advisor_Handbook-web.pdf
Child welfare information gateway. (2013). Supporting your LGBTQ youth: A guide for foster parents. https://permanent.fdlp.gov/gpo116491/LGBTQyouth.pdf#780-1
Day, J. K., Fish, J., Grossman, A. H. & Russell, S.T. (2019). Gay-Straight alliances, inclusive policy, and school climate: LGBTQ youths’ experiences of social support and bullying. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 30 (S2), 418-430. https://doi.org/10.1111/jora.12487
GLSEN. (2012, August 29). Top 10 things to do with your GSA [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMJSksK2nUI
Life at HSBC. (2019, August 6). Cultivating a culture of inclusion [Video]. Youtube. https://youtu.be/oSO3F9z23vU?list=PLXjpz16oBnJi0TFEHPfLZWJJkWkF9Ddau
Paely, A. (2021). National survey on LGBTQ youth mental health 2021. The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2021/?section=Introduction
Resnick, A. (2022, January 2). What is heteronormativity? Verywellmind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-heteronormativity-5191883
Rhoades, H., Rusow, J. A., Goldbach, J. T., Bond, D., Lanteigne, A. & Fulginiti, A. (n.d.). Homelessness, mental health and suicidality among LGBTQ youth accessing crisis services. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 49(4), 643–651. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-018-0
Ryan, C. (2019). 20.1 the family acceptance project’s model for LGBTQ youth. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 58(10), S28–S29. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2019.07.123
U.S. Department of Education. (n.d.). Every student succeeds act (ESSA). Retrieved February 11, 2022, from https://www.ed.gov/essa?src=rn
U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. (n.d.). Employers. Retrieved February 10, 2022, from https://www.eeoc.gov/employers
Comments